Macho business culture–A story of power, loss, and travel
My lunch partner the other week was an Asia hand, 20 plus years in the region. Most of his time spent in Japan and has complete fluency in Japanese. The past 5 years he’s been with an overseas based company, managing a Japan operation. He lives in Singapore for family considerations, and is not interested in moving back to Japan.
“I wanted to meet with you to see what opportunities there may be in Singapore for me to work with a company that needs a Japan expert–I’ve done M&A, run big teams, small teams, different industries, I can handle it all–and it has to be a senior type of position.”
“I’m sure there are some, no question, but can’t think of any offhand. How much travel do you do?”
“At least 40, maybe 45 weeks out of the year, almost weekly. I’m here this week only because it’s Golden Week in Japan. When I started with them the deal was that I’d commute between Singapore and Japan.”
“Almost weekly?”
“Yes, and just signed another 3 year contract with them last month. Nice group of people, pay isn’t bad, I like them. They’ve treated me OK.”
“And the travel?”
“Well, my wife now wants me home more. Our older son is in University, we have a teenage daughter who is having some problems at home as well, and a younger one, so I really do need to be here more.”
“What are you doing about it?”
“I asked my boss–who’s the CEO–and he understood. Said if I needed to stay a couple extra days to work things out, to go ahead.”
“A couple extra days? That’s it? What’s this guy like?”
“Ah, well, he travels 7 days a week. He’s got the global job, I’m just regional. He’s always travelling, always. So what am I supposed to do?”
“And let me guess. Calls on weekends? Night time?”
“Oh sure, all the time, he has no concept of not working or boundaries.”
“How would you be if you could reduce your travel by half, let’s say to just twice a month?”
“Twice a month? I’d be a new person, hands down, that would be a different story. But I can’t. I tried to negotiate with them, but no luck–I’m the highest paid person overseas, and because I’m in Singapore and travelling, we have no office here, so I work out the house. If I didn’t travel, they’d start talking at HQ and say I’m not really working. I’d lose my job. I know it.”
“So? Does the CEO like you? Does he know what you contribute?”
“Oh sure he does, but I’d say 40% of my travel is set by HQ. They tell me where I’m supposed to be and when. I can’t change that.”
“And how much money would you save the company if you reduced your travel?”
“Hundreds of thousands, I’d guess.. But I can’t reduce the travel. I tried to negotiate, and believe me, I did try, but couldn’t do anything. You wouldn’t understand.”
“Understood. So, you’re basically asking me if I know of any jobs for you?”
“Well, I’m never here, obviously, and figured headhunters would be the best bet. And I know that’s what you do. Am I wrong?”
“Yes, to a large degree you are wrong. I don’t have anything to pull out of a hat, almost never do. You’ve been in Asia over 20 years, you have a network that’s bigger than you think, without question. You need to start thinking about it, and use your friends, your acquaintances–or strangers–and get out of this before you have a breakdown.”
“I can’t quit, I have a family to support. And I’m not going to have a breakdown.”
“Sorry, I take that back. I am certainly not telling you to quit, but if you continue like this, and your daughter continues to act out or whatever it is, and it gets worse, you WILL quit. Start working your network now.”
“So, you don’t know of any companies?”
“No! But you need a strategy to cope between work and travel. Do you see this? Am I making sense?”
“Yes, I hear you, and I get it. I just figured you could help me find a job.”
“I can help you think it through, sure. But I can’t help give you a job, not one that you described. Not immediately, anyhow. But there are things you can start on to get there.”
* * * * *
We agreed to keep in touch. He sent me his CV the following day, which needs work, and I’ll help him with it, try to point him in the right direction.
Such conversations are not highly unusual; mid-life, trying to break out of a work situation and so focused on keeping the paycheque coming that he has spent no time on himself, his health, his family, and his network. And it all comes together, the perfect storm.
In that storm is a corporate culture of machismo. Men only in senior management, and tough ones too. He’d be trash-talked if he worked from home and was not travelling, the 7-day-a-week travelling CEO telling him to take a couple of days off to take care of an unruly child, let the wife take care of it.. Some companies are like that, but he has been there 5 years and proven himself. He’ll likely survive; he’s smart, canny, and it may not break him. But he’s close to the precipice.
Here is my further advice to him-and you:
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People sometimes give away their power by defining situations as outside of their control, thereby playing the victim role…giv[ing] away their power by not trying. Sometimes people don’t want to ‘play the game’, or thinking they won’t be good at it, or can’t see themselves following the strategies of successful, more political individuals… We are…our own biggest barriers…because we don’t make sufficient effort to build ourselves up. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, ‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.’
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I cannot emphasize this last point enough, but if you think and act small, you’ll be small. And victims are, regardless of their title or status.
