Some of my conversations are with people who have become martyrs at work, much as they doth protest otherwise.
They’ll likely contact me to ‘explore the market’, busy with their job, trading off personal time–and reputation–for the good of the company. Not much left for themselves, and scant time to build their [professional] profile.
Many are genuinely sincere and helpful, seldom turning down a request for help from others. They’ll often go the extra mile if asked by a colleague (certainly a boss), reliable, conscientious, there when needed, proud for being able to deliver when asked.
Now, what the hell is wrong with that, you ask? Isn’t that what we should all be doing at work anyhow?
And you’d be right–most, but not all the time.
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The martyr usually wants sympathy from others to agree how hard they work and struggle. That suffering can perversely make them feel superior to others because of the burdens they must shoulder. Uh oh..
Recognise when the martyrdom of work has gotten the better of you. If you can’t see it, or deny it, ask someone else to verify it.
Take care of your own well-being–or you CAN’T help anyone else. You’ll be remembered as a martyr who nobly suffered. That is not the point of work or life.
The general order is health, family, work, community, spirituality..
Never get so deep in the work and the company that it becomes you. It reminds me of the old temperance saying, “First the man drinks the drink, then the drink drinks the drink, then the drink drinks the man.” Then your identity is the company’s.
Stop blaming and complaining. That avoids dealing with life as it is, not as it should be. Making excuses keeps you where you are–static, not active.
Be ready–and comfortable–to anger or disappoint some people at certain times. You cannot please or make everyone happy all the time, so don’t bother trying to.
Scared of saying “No”? Then you’re on the right track. Practice it–by yourself, with others, and start wearing a slightly different mantle; it’ll be seen and heard soon enough. And repeat the line above.
No one, repeat–no one-wants to be remembered as a long-suffering soul who helped everyone except themselves. That is not legacy.
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And if you read this and think to yourself, “Yeah, easy for you to say. You have no idea how hard I work.” I beg to differ. You’re deluding yourself.
Get moving. You’re only as good as when you’re in the game, and you have permission to do it..
